What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 15:24
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I could never make a relationship work though!
If there exists a “New York of Australia”, is it Sydney or Melbourne?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
So whats the point in blame.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My family never makes their pension either.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
What is a narcissist grandmother like, with her grandchild?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Put me off passion for life!!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?
She married twice! .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Why do I sweat (mostly on face) when I eat usually spicy food?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I will be 64.
I write beautiful poetry .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She was in good health!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Are you afraid of being alone?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?
As i do to all so called friends.?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
What are some ways to cope with paranoid thoughts about being gangstalked or targeted individuals?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My life is so biszare .
What is the top-rated beach resort in Bali, Indonesia according to TripAdvisor reviews?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
This is soul school!.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Can you write a letter to your first love without mentioning his/her name?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I was 9 years of age.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I think the readers, may guess!
Especially a lifetime of it.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I don,t even have a pension.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
It was going to be , some day.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She loved him until the end.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She found it foreign!.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was seconnd youngest,
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
One cannot live in the past .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He knew the spot.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But it wasn’t much.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I have no regrets .
I was scared of men, in general
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Who then, do I blame.?
And i lived it daily.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She wouldn,t have been !
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
(And it was in our own minds.)
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Would this be the day?
When she asked me how she looked .
We all went to grammer schools
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He resisted the act ,that day.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
All the time i was locked up.
What did i know ?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was very sick at this time too.
I waited trembling.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Comes on , in middle age.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Ive learnt so much.
But, we were locked up after school.
But ive been too sick for many years..
So, i spoilt her more .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Im still living with it.
I said to her
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
We were not on the streets..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .